Tough Times Are Headed Your Way, Mr. Crotch Bomber!
Obama to the Crotch Bomber:
"Gol darnit, are we ever going to let you have it! You're in for a tough time, Mr. Terrorist sir. Yessir-ee! Interrogation and waterboarding are too good for you; it's going to be cutting back on nap time, withholding basmati rice, goat and dates, buster! You're in for tough, lawyer-supervised hours of asking politically correct questions so as not to offend you or try to get too much information that can be useful in defending our country!
When we're done with you, you'll wish you had those 70 virgins; we're only going to give you 40, one at a time for your total enjoyment while you are a guest of the United States.
One request: if you make it to Paradise before I do (some say my turn is first), say hello to Allah and save a place and some of the virgins for me! (Death to Amerika!)"