Open Letter to the American Public:
Quite frankly, I don't care what you people think about health care reform. My focus is on the American public as a whole, not the individual (a-hole). If I had to pay attention to each American citizen I wouldn't be able to get my job done, as divinely bestowed upon me. I answer to a higher authority than the people who voted for me. I believe Allah has chosen me for better things and making health care mandatory for my followers is one of the highest and noblest goals I can think of. I have also decided it is not in my interest to cling to antiquated documents such as The Constitution and Declaration of Independence. These are nothing more than a list of platitudes put forth by the white overseers of the 18th century. They simply don't apply to every day life and are obstacles to my Master Plan for dealing with those who oppose me.
Thank you for understanding me. I look forward to a New Republic of America (NRA).
Yours in Allah,
Barack Hussein Obama
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